Field Note 001: Mirrored Between The Lines
How Gathering Blossoms Under Fire reconnected me to my "why."
Hello & Happy New Year!
We’re already halfway through January, and I still feel like I’m easing into 2024. Less rushing and more feeling. Being very gentle with myself and my spirit. I keep reminding myself that there is no rush and I can start whenever I want, hence the timing of this letter. This year, I intend to listen to what feels good and work with my flow instead of working against it. It is easier said than done most times, but I have hope. Another intention for this year is to continue reading more than I scroll and talk more about my books as I read them.
Earlier this week, I finished my reading of Gathering Blossoms Under Fire1, and I feel I’ve been changed. I know it must have been an act of radical honesty and self-acceptance that prompted Alice Walker to walk us through her life journey from age 25 to 55. That’s marriage, motherhood, career, many transitions, many unfoldings, many moments of always returning home to self. It’s so easy for me to look at the writers I admire and forget their humanness, that they bleed just like me. What made reading this book so enjoyable was that I learned more about Alice Walker beyond The Color Purple or Temple of My Familiar. In her journals, she expresses many sentiments that resonate with me, one of them being, “Why is it that we always feel embarrassed by what we write?” and another, “Can I write even while riddled with anxiety, jealousy, fear of rejection, aloneness; in short, can I assume responsibility for my own life?” I couldn’t stop highlighting and notating all the lines that made me feel seen as a writer, woman, and human being. Yet again, I was reminded of the power of informal writing, memory-keeping, and vulnerability. Reading some of her most intimate thoughts made it clear that she writes for herself. She writes because she has something to say about what lives inside of her and feels she has to share. Even if only with one person.
Gathering Blossoms Under Fire helped me reflect on my relationship with writing and living. It accurately depicts what I imagine when I think about “Journeying.” It constantly brings me back to what inspired me to start “The Journeying.” I wasn’t looking for a place to create a newsletter but a place to document in real time. Proof that I am here and I am changing. This wasn’t a place for me to be a teacher but to share my musings as a student of the universe, to show my humanness. I've hesitated to share my work anywhere because my writing is deeply connected to thoughts usually stemming from my journal. It feels like a new level of exposure and visibility. I allow myself to be seen in a way I don’t often.
I tried my hardest to separate the “Self” from my writing, resulting in pieces lacking the essence of what I feel called to share. Now I feel like I’m constantly reminding myself it’s okay that my pieces feel vulnerable because it means I’m using my voice. The voice that I felt went unheard for most of my life. Writing gives me a power that transforms my spirit. It allows me to explore what lives beneath the surface without always having the tools but being brave enough to try it anyway. That is the power of writing. That is what Ms. Alice Walker brought me back to. Her words reminded me of my “why.” The reason I always seek solace inside a notebook or any blank space. She was a mirror, reflecting my sentiments, but I couldn’t bring myself to share. She vividly laid out her journeying and inspired me to keep showing up for mine. Now, I don’t plan on publishing pages from my journal anytime soon, BUT I’m looking forward to actually letting my journal serve as a bridge to connect me to thoughts and reflections I want to share with the world.
This brings me to Field Notes, a new offering in this space. It’s my letter to you with musing and observations gathered while surveying the land. Proof of life. It’s me opening myself up and letting you into my world gently and graciously. Thank you, always! I hope my words will, too, serve as a mirror, guiding you closer and closer to the truths that live inside of you. We can journey together!
with love + care,
Ty 🪞
Welcoming:
Doing what I want
Low-pressure hobbies
Writing about everything
Curated playlists
Dreaming + Achieving big.
Current joys:
Reading Their Eyes Were Watching God for the umpteenth time.
My Spotify Daylist (cause why do they get it right every time?)
Watching “The Last Of Us” for the first time.
Writing my penpals.
the sims 4.
moving slow.
Connect with me:
Gathering Blossoms Under Fire is a published collection of personal journal entries from Alice Walker from 1965-2000.
I can't wait to read more field notes from you!