Be Like Water
Finding contentment in fluidity & the pursuit of creative discovery.
It is a beautiful Sunday here in the Lowcountry. The air is humid but assisted by a calm breeze and a blue sky. I’m writing this from my patio with my dog at my feet as we listen to the sounds of our ecosystem. Taking in what is offered so graciously to us. The patio is usually where I come for peace and inspiration to ease my way into the day. It is here that I am reminded everything that I seek is also seeking me.
I’ve been sitting with a lot of self-doubt lately. It’s been an active fight trying to find employment after moving to a new state (and facing many rejections) while also searching for motivation to show up for myself creatively and overcome a lot of the fear that keeps me stagnant. It hasn’t been the easiest navigating this space, constantly reassuring myself that despite the rejection and discomfort I’m feeling right now, I still have everything I need to move forward. Some days are better than others, but I have found that leaning into my journaling practice and the support of my loved ones carries me on the days when I can’t carry myself. Battling a harsh inner critic makes it harder to feel confident calling myself a writer or sharing my work. There is always a silent pressure to show up as my best self, post my best work, and curate the best life to feel like I’m doing this creative shit the right way. If I’m being honest, the silent pressure keeps me from showing more of myself online. I’m often too critical of my work, mainly posting what feels like it will be accepted, which is unfair to my creative process and commitment to growth.
Regarding my creativity, I’ve longed for a life of ease and flow, and I thought external circumstances could measure the two. Life is teaching me ease, and flow starts with me. It begins within, and it’s up to me to define what the two look like in my life. When I remove those silent pressures, the expectations, and the pursuit of perfection from my work, I see clearly that ease is here. It sits with me on the patio as I write this post. Flow waits for me at the threshold of my studio while I work on creative projects, and it ushers me from one task into the next. Whenever I seek ease and flow, I trust they are also waiting for me.
I’ve accepted that I’ll never grow as a writer without writing consistently. I’ll never get over my fear of posting until I post with no expectations. My life is ever-changing, and I expect that to be reflected in my work. I have permission to let my creativity change and flow how I see fit. I’m learning not to be critical of what I produce. The work does not have to be perfect, nor does it have to be permanent. It can be like water.
Until next time,
Ty ♾️